“I want you to buy a chastity diary. A girly, sissy chastity diary. And I want you to write every kinky thought you have each day.”
That was the command, and a couple of days ago, it arrived. Thank you Amazon!
Now whenever I watch porn (usually our own as I edit the clips,) read erotic fiction, or have any kind of weird sexual thought – even if not so weird, I write it down in my pretty unicorn diary of chastity thoughts and depravity.
Wow am I depraved.
Since we are still on lock down for COVID19, I have to read the diary to Goddess every couple of days. She takes notes and asks questions.
Some of the stuff is humiliating. The kind of stuff sexual fantasies are made of. I don’t want any of this to happen in real life. Or do I?
There is a difference between real life and sexual fantasy. When you are horny as hell, you may not believe it. But there is. Deep down you know that.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve fantasized about permanent chastity. Then after a month I am begging to cum. Or a raw spot will develop and the cage needs to come off or switched for another model with a different fit.
So as much as the concept of eternal orgasm denial is exciting, it isn’t something I could live with.
Luckily my keyholders know that. They also know it pushes my buttons, so they use the words to excite and scare me.
That doesn’t mean I want that. Only that the idea excites me on some level. A fantasy level. An area we seldom have ventured to and never on camera.
“2020 will be about pushing some of your limits,” she tells me.
The year has started off bad, and it looks like the roller coaster ride hasn’t even started yet.
If you haven’t started a chastity diary, I highly recommend you do. It becomes a great place to store all your crazy thoughts, desires and concerns. This makes it easier to talk with your key holder or superior and not forget any important details.
Male chastity frustration is overwhelming me. I’m tense. I am having trouble doing anything. All I can think about is how bad I want to cum.
And then all I can think about is how I can’t.
I wrote in the last article, I am currently locked by ChastiKey since my keyholders are unavailable. They could still override it, since they have copies of my keys. If I needed out, I could buy a release for a few dollars.
So why am I now at 12 days instead of the original estimate? Because I found the green card on day 7. The app allows you to open or put your fate in the hands of a random generator. I decided the app could decide if I would be released. It started the entire lock over again.
So let’s talk about the chastity belt I’m stuck in. I reviewed it on the blog after it arrived. I have worn it for a few clips sold in our studio, but more often am placed in my Mature Metal cage for those. The belt allows no visuals.
My personal preference is to see firsthand the frustration male chastity causes. I get a lot of emails about how hot it is when my cock drools constantly. Trust me, it is hot on this side of the camera too.
But after the testicle smashing incident, my balls tend to slip through the gap of every cage I wear. I’m told everything is fine by my doctor, but I can’t exactly explain the problem. I could see my insurance company denying that claim!
The chastity belt locks around my waist though. The balls aren’t trapped. They move under the cock tube, which is somewhat restrictive, but if they move around, no problem. This is now my preferred chastity device.
I did have some issues with the belt itself causing irritation on my hips. That surprised me because I wore the chain for years with few problems. Time in the belt has allowed my body to adapt and if irritation starts, lotion soothes the problem away.
I purchased the belt from DHGate. Not exactly the highest quality, but pretty darn amazing for the price. Here are some things I like about it.
I’m completely enclosed, yet can unlock and remove a bottom shield for cleaning. The shield allows me to clean out the tube, but I can barely reach my dick. So I still never see my “manhood.” (Pictured right – Goddess Dani removed the shield to tease the head of my dick with her finger.)
I also can’t cum in the belt. Last night I tried. Hard. I know punishment is coming for that, but I was desperate. I grabbed the tube and pulled on it as I bucked my hips. And nothing happened. The entire episode left me exhausted and frustrated. And I can’t see where that will end any time soon.
The belt’s tube is large enough to allow me to get hard, but I can’t move it since it attaches close to my body. Unlike a ball trap device, where you can move things around, the belt doesn’t yield. Plus I am now on a chastity weight loss regimen and the belt can be adjusted. It is involved, but it can be done. That makes me very happy!
On another note, I did text with Goddess Savannah. I updated her on my situation and she texted back the message in the header photo above.
We were to shoot at the beginning of April. That now looks like it will moved to May. She has always wanted to ruin my orgasm in the chastity cage. I’ve been trained not to cum in it. So Goddess Savannah has used vibrators on my locked dicklet and never had any success with making me spurt. This time it will be two months of no spilling at all, ruined or otherwise.
Her excitement at the idea of ruining me in my chastity now looks like the next chance I will get to release. I think she may just be able to achieve her goal.
Today I start a two part post, this first is to introduce you to the ChastiKey key holding app for your smart phone.
In the post Chastity Lockdown for Everyone, I talked about my COVID-19 lockdown. No play, total isolation.
I am locked in my full male chastity belt, which I have grown to love. (And hate.) I gave a male chastity belt review on the blog, and will update my experience in these articles. I have had some serious time locked away, so this should help others considering one.
Between shoots I am usually locked away in the chastity belt. Not always, but my free days are few. Since I enjoy the frustration of being in male chastity, that makes my life easier. Sometimes.
It isn’t chastity though until you want out and aren’t released. It pushes your boundaries. Chastity surpasses your comfort zone. This isn’t supposed to be easy on the male. It is a submission of the most intimate kind. Even if you don’t have an intimate relationship with your key holder.
I shot with Goddess Cassandra Cain very early this month. We did almost two hours of boudoir shooting. Her body has amazing curves, her skin glows and she is so beautiful. After an hour and a half of shooting, to say I was horny would be an understatement.
We finished the session with a cock tease video. She ruined my orgasm, and I went straight into my chastity belt. I had a couple of boudoir photography shoots following that, but no more play.
Then COVID19 hit and canceled my video shoots.
I got permission to try an app keyholder called ChastiKey. The app is available for iPhone and is a timed card game. You have the option of selecting the parameters of the game, or others offer “locks” that they can control.
Your with keys locked in a combination lock box, the app confuses you so you forget the number. It works too. I have no idea what number was dialed in. My emergency keys are unavailable now.
(You can buy your release, which is an option you can set at the start.)To get released you must select cards at timed intervals. Red cards will make you wait until the next interval to try again. (My current interval is every six hours, but you can go less or more.)
There are yellow cards which add one or two red cards. There are also yellow cards which will remove red cards. There is the dreaded freeze card which keeps you from selecting a card for 12 to 24 hours, extending your lock. There are lock reset cards which will restart the entire process, minus that reset card.
Then there are the green key cards. You can select an option that allows you to unlock if you find one, or you could have to find several. There is nothing worse than being one card away from release and selecting a reset card.
The app also has “bots” which will control your lock. The bots will add or subtract cards at random. You have no control over that, so it is like having a keyholder.
The app has a discussion group on Discord, and you can find real key holders there. Make sure to ask before you try one of their locks though. They are people and only have a limited amount of time to deal with horny males. (Or females.) If you piss them off, you may find yourself locked longer than you want. Or banned from their locks.
I created my own lock, setting the parameters and the app told me the likely scenario would be 6 days. It also gave me a short estimate of 18 hours and a long estimate of 9 days.
I am on Day 10. I’ll tell you more about that next time.