Finding a chastity keyholder isn’t easy. Yet every week I seem to get a message asking how to find one.

If you are searching for a keyholder, I wish I had a magical answer that could help. But there is no magical solution to this problem. So I will offer what advice I can.

finding a chastity keyholderIf you are in a relationship, asking your partner to hold your chastity key puts you in a vunerable situation. What if they don’t like the idea? Maybe they will think it is sick, or too kinky and they will think less of you.

Or maybe they will say yes, just to try and please you, but not enjoy it. That can drive a wedge between a couple.

It depends on the relationship you have. How much do you trust each other? How open are you both with your feelings?

My bet is, if you are nervous about talking to your partner, communication is already a problem.

Plus, so many of us (or at least me) get that excited feeling and have all these fantasies of what will happen. I know the one time I tried to share this kink in a relationship I blew it.

I shared too much, too fast. It overwhelmed my partner.

So when it comes to a chastity keyholder in a marriage or current relationship, I’m not good at giving advice. Sorry.

chastity keyholder Ami MercuryAnother problem I see is so many guys want to find a woman on a kink forum. They read the posts, then ask them outright to hold their key.

I know this because my keyholders tell me about it.

What is wrong with that?

First, you don’t know the person.

In the quest of finding a chastity keyholder, they just assume someone who may have the same kink as them would do this.

But holding someone’s key is work. There is time and effort involved on the part of the keyholder. And so many guys would rather have the fantasy than actually be kept chaste. They’ve read the pornography and want to jump in without testing the water. 

So there are a lot of time wasters out there.

And when a keyholder offers their services in exchange for payment, I see a lot of complaining.

“She is a professional, I want a girl who does it for fun, because it turns her on.”

“If you really liked chastity keyholding you would do it for free! You are just in this to take money from people.”

People get paid for their time. I bet you have a job / income. Plus, if a woman holds your chastity key, you will end up paying in some manner shape or form. And not sexually, but financially. Even if it is a girlfriend or spouse. (Treating them right isn’t cheap!)

And don’t offer to serve them sexually. That is just downright creepy. Again, they don’t know you.

So you aren’t in a relationship and you don’t just want to hand your keys over to anyone. So how can you go about finding a chastity keyholder?

Check Fetlife! Join and participate in the discussion groups.

Find out about happenings in your area where fetish people get together. Look for “Munches” – gatherings where you can meet and interact with others over a meal.

Make friends and who knows, maybe something will evolve into a keyholding arrangement. Possibly even a relationship.

Not everyone will have the results I did, with Nadia finding my bookmarks. That could have caused major problems.

It wasn’t intentional, and it was embarrassing. But our friendship was already interesting and this revelation took things to a whole new level.

Finding  a chastity keyholder is easier if you are a person first.

Don’t be the guy who just wants someone else to fuel his fantasies.

That is the best advice I can offer.

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