I was pretty excited last night. A video shoot/session was on the calendar. I expected to be denied. I just wasn’t sure how denied I would end up being. Or realize how that denial would make me feel.

It was the first time I was going to meet a new domme. The shoot had been set up and I knew Goddess Nadia had talked with her to arrange the details.

As normal, I scheduled a hotel room where we could stay. The day of the shoot I woke early, did my chores and then began preparations. You never want to go to a session less than spotless.

Waiting for denial

I am surprised when I hear a Goddess talk about other “slaves.” That word is in quotes because they are more clients with submission fantasies. Some of them don’t bother to shower, shave or even brush their teeth beforehand.

So I take care to brush, floss and use mouthwash. Shave my face. Trim any hairs on my chest. (There are a few – usually long ass almost clear ones growing around my nipples.)

Then I shave around the chastity cage as best I can. I use a Manscape Lawnmower. After that I use a razor to catch as much stubble as I can.

I loaded the van with my camera gear, lighting and toy case, then left for the two hour drive to the hotel. My job is to arrive early, set up the cameras and lights, and patiently wait on my Goddess of the Day.

I looked at my phone when I pulled into the hotel. The Goddess had texted me saying she would be late. That isn’t uncommon, so I checked in and went about my tasks.

After setting up and figuring out some new camera angles to catch this session on video, I stripped, rinsed off and started to wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.

I grew more excited by the minute. I hadn’t been teased in over two weeks. I don’t mind chastity, but I hate celibacy. After two more hours I received a text.

She wasn’t coming. She decided to go out with her boyfriend instead.

That is the ultimate denial. I was so looking forward to at least feeling frustration while she teased. Now I would get nothing. Except the frustration and feeling of despair by being ignored.

All that time, wasted. I could have been editing videos. Or working on social media. Or even this blog. But no. I was out time and money. And that was all I deserved. Knowing that doesn’t make life any easier though.